Man Shakes Fist Angrily at the Clouds

This feature us utterly useless to me. No, worse, it’s actually a hindrance to productivity.

I feel like I’ve been ranting and bemoaning “cloud-y” stuff a lot lately. And I don’t like that, because I understand it’s “the future” and “the best way to deliver software” and blah blah blah. But hear me out.

Some things just really need to stop. Or at least be rolled out in gentle, opt-in style phases where users can choose “Yes I’d like that feature” or “Nope, hard-pass”.

And as a million developers scream at me from the glare of their screens…

But seriously. Let me give you examples. And guess what? Because I primarily use Microsoft technologies at work, that’s what I’m going to put on blast. But they’re not alone, and they’re probably not the biggest offender. (Although their marketing department STILL baffles me.)

Planner

Planner is a sort of Trello/Project/virtual-whiteboard hybrid that comes bundled with Office Microsoft Office 365 (screw your new naming convention). It’s half decent. I mostly use it to prove to my bosses that “Yeah, I have a crap-ton of work in the backlog, so stop asking me if Thing X is done yet.”

The hierarchy of Planner goes like so: Plan, Board, Section, Task. Task is the “unit of work” that most Agile teams are familiar with. Many Tasks make up a Section (or lane, or column, or whatever); many Sections make up a Board, and a Board is part of a Plan (aka a Project).

Recently they pushed out an update that made it horrendously ugly for me. Why? Because they assumed that any time you put a LINK on a Task (a URL), it must have some cutesy picture or preview associated with it, and thus you should see that picture as a disproportionately large head-space on that task. But guess what all my links are? Ticketing system tickets. They don’t have a picture. Or best-case scenario, they’re all the exact same picture (of said ticketing system’s logo/favicon).

Thus, this feature us utterly useless to me. No, worse, it’s actually a hindrance to productivity. Because now my tasks take up more than twice the space, with zero added value.

#SMH

Teams

Teams is MS’s answer to Slack. And in a great many users’ opinion, a poor substitute. I’m not an extremist in that camp; I can see its uses and the things it brings to the table, and I can generally use it on a day-to-day basis without getting frustrated. The video-conferencing capability is quite good, no complaints there.

So how have they done me dirty lately? Well, there’s this whole “double-click a user/avater to open a new pop-out window to chat with that user”. WHY? Why is this necessary? I already have the app open. Can you not just TAKE ME to the Chat tab to the conversation with that user?

Another thing. This isn’t a “new update” thing; this is a long-standing “Oh my lord I can’t believe they DESIGNED it this way, WHAT were they THINKING?!?!” thing. Files. Sending & receiving files. I get an picture, like a screenshot, from a user (that’s NOT a OneDrive link, because that’s a whole ‘nother can-of-worms). I click to download it. It goes.. where?

OH RIGHT. It goes to my ‘Downloads’ folder. That dumpster-fire, where everything from anywhere goes into, and nobody keeps it organized, and nobody knows how to find anything unless they’ve gotten smart enough to sort by Date Modified descending. Right, that.

But wait, the file name is even better. “MicrosoftTeams-image.png”. Oops, did you get another one? “MicrosoftTeams-image (1).png”. Another? “MicrosoftTeams-image (2).png” TOTALLY OBVIOUS what those are! Who could possibly get confused by that?!?

One last gripe. The freakin’ notifications. Do I really need to be notified every damn time someone gives one of my chats a “thumbs-up”? The notifications don’t even go away immediately! You have to literally go to the Notifications tab and CLICK ON IT, even if you were previously on that exact conversation in which the thumbs-up happened!

#SMH squared

old man yells at cloud
I’m not even over 40 yet… but I identify with this.

Chrome

This last one is a bit controversial. See, in theory, every Chrome browser update is supposed to make the web more secure, by enforcing standards compliance and security practices and all that jazz. Great! Guess what? We live in the real world. People have favorites/bookmarks and desktop-shortcuts and the like. Companies run on-prem email servers hybrid-ized with cloud email providers (yes, lookin’ at you again, Office 365) and their end-users expect things to JUST WORK. Continously.

If they can’t get their email due to some strange new “certificate” error that shows up when the click their favorite Favorite, guess who they call? Nope, not Google (because what even is a phone? or a human?) — their own company helpdesk. And the hapless helpdesk tech says, “Gee, it works for me, what’s going on?” Then they spend an hour talking with their team trying to compensate for every different combination of user-level/environment/browser/network-configuration, only to end up creating a redirect in their cloud-based DNS overlay so that the user doesn’t have to think about certificates and mysterious “Oops! :(” errors anymore.

#SMH a third time

What’s the point?

I don’t know… not like I can do anything about the way these software giants conduct their development. Just… if you’re a developer and you read this, take a moment to consider your end users more. Please? Not everybody always wants all your new features. Yeah I get it, option-izing them makes things harder for you. Sorry. If you wanted an easy career you’re in the wrong field. Just consider it, at least.