And now for a brief interlude while I work on my next “real” post… continuing with the same theme… SQL Server for the developer/programmer! Warning: potentially excessive snark ahead.
SQL Server is a mystical fairy-tale land where you can store all your application data, and never have to worry about it again! Sure, it “should” be relational, but you also “should” drive the speed limit.. PSHH! Let’s throw blobs in there too — HTML, XML, hell, even JSON now that 2016’s got nice happy JSON-centric system functions. And files? Heck yes, what else is FILESTREAM
for? Sure, performance may be abysmal, but that’s somebody else’s problem, so why should we care?
It’s the only database platform your company invested in, so it must be good for everything. Document storage? Sure, not like there’s anything else better suited for the job, especially for ‘Free’! Ooh, how about key-value data, and volatile temporal data like .NET Session-State? Obviously! Nothing else exists, and Microsoft makes it so simple to set it up in SQL.
IN SELECT
s & sub-queries, chains of unreadable JOIN
s, and Inception-level nested VIEW
s, it’s perfectly fine! Performance, shmerformance! That’s what we have DBAs for. Not that they’ll be able to help you when you refuse to refactor or rewrite your code that’s responsible for these abominable queries.
That’s all, see ya next time! XD